“Give a woman a mirror and some sweets and she will be happy” - this phrase is attributed to George Byron, and if he really said so, then women from the nineteenth century have managed to change the order. Because the mirror will undoubtedly occupy a modern woman for a long time, but it is unlikely to calm her down.
Nowadays, we get basic information about ourselves from the Internet and from the mirror: you turn on your phone in the morning and find out who loves you, who doesn't love you, who will hold you to your heart, who will send you to hell. And whoever hasn't written anything again is such a pig. And in the morning the mirror tells you how you look, how old you are, how much you weigh, what to wear, and whether it’s time to go to the sheet and to the cemetery or something can still be corrected. And before the beach season, the task becomes much more complicated - this body in the mirror must not only be properly covered, but undressed beautifully and disgracefully. And here even the "few sweets" bequeathed by Byron, which usually really help, are unlikely to bring peace to a woman's heart.
The fact is that many of us live in a cruel cognitive dissonance: we do not look the way we feel from the inside, and certainly not at all the way we would like. For example, I am actually a thin brown-haired woman of average height and boy type, with small breasts and narrow hips. I always wanted to be like that, I felt this way and bought clothes for this particular girl. By some ridiculous mistake of fate, my body has the shape of a small hourglass, but I know that in fact I am different. And I often meet women who painfully try to squeeze their real flesh into the image that exists in their head. To be thinner, younger, have different breasts, wear romantic dresses or, conversely, military, while your type means completely different things. But - I like it, but I want it, but from the inside I am just like that. And the woman looks in the mirror, as if on a battlefield: reality is again advancing on all fronts, it is impossible to defeat it, but we will try, even if we have to die in this war.
There are three ways to defect from this situation. Firstly, first, to fight for a long, long time, aiming at victory, remake the body and face, fight for every millimeter and gram, cut off, sew on and drag. This is the great Path of the Warrior, but in the end Time will still force us to come to terms. One day you realize that it won, gently taking away all disputed territories, and its own hormones are working against you, reducing ardor and will to fight. You just shrug your shoulders, sit down on the embankment and start talking about peace, tranquility, warm spring sun and the joys of contemplating the surrounding beauty. Photos where you are young and beautiful will not be a challenge for you, but a source of special tenderness. "A few sweets" will stay with you, and the mirror will stop both pleasing and scaring you away, and it will be possible to look into your eyes and at the same time find out if you are smeared with chocolate.
Second, you can learn a few phrases about self-acceptance and step on the throat of your own song. As soon as she gives a voice "but I would like to be …", as you tell her "be quiet, infection! love yourself as you are and don't blather. " To believe that the task of "mouse, become a hedgehog" is impossible, so there is no need to try. And you yourself are valuable even with a mouse, even a scarecrow, and any upgrade from the evil one, from the inability to accept your natural beauty and from disrespect for yourself. This is where talking about individuality comes in handy. It just seems to me that my personality is an inner skinny street child, but in fact, since I am physically such a female woman, it is she who needs to be revealed and emphasized, and not hidden in minimizer bras and tight pants. At first you have to clench your teeth and admire what is, and then nothing, you see, and you will like it.
And there is a third way, difficult but interesting. Try to assume that you have not a liquidation of a disaster, but a work problem, try to remove from the situation any admixture of tragedy. Before you is an interesting task, practically a theatrical sketch: to create a new image from the available material. Not to change beyond recognition, but to identify that aspect of the personality that is dear to you using a variety of means. A little bit of acting, a little work of a stylist, trainer and beautician, some volitional effort, where without it. Gradually, you will transfer the problem to the game space.
If you want to portray something that you are not physically, why not, let it be theater, image change, creative act and augmented reality. This is, of course, a bit of a freak's path, because you will be broadcasting an ambiguous message. But any piece of art is quite difficult for the viewer, if it is not quite a popular picture. And the main thing in all this is your personal relationship with yourself and with the mirror, your game in another girl, boy, grandmother, punk, cat or whoever you would like to portray. You are old enough to allow yourself to play without embarrassment or pain - whatever you want.
