Briton Roberto Carlos (no, not a Brazilian footballer) lived in a women's hostel for a week and tweeted 32 things he learned about girls. The first post in the thread got more than 100 thousand retweets, many users recognized themselves in Carlos' notes and marked their acquaintances.
The blogger said that the girls are not so princesses: they sniff armpits, steal men's deodorant and stick tape on their breasts to make it look better in the cleavage. Here is a complete translation of his story.
1. When girls come home from a party, for them every little thing is the funniest thing in the world. "God, hahaha, I just ate a carrot."
2. When girls try to be quieter, they make a lot of noise with their "Shshshsh".
3. In each group there is a girl who acts as a mother for the rest. She helps everyone take off their makeup, brings water and makes sure everyone gets home.
4. One day I went to the shower and saw on the wall clumps of hair gathered in a pile!
5. Girls have a staggering number of different cans, thousands of them. Shelves, bags and even the floor are littered with countless bottles.
6. Guys, I found out that girls, when they put on a top with a low cut, stick real tape on their breasts to make their shape more attractive. Just fucking scotch!
7. There were also strange things in the form of flowers on the kitchen table. It turned out that they glue them on the nipples.
8. There are things called chicken fillets, and these are not the fillets that we eat.
9. Since five o'clock in the evening I was not allowed to go to the toilet, because there was a queue for the shower until eleven, and for another three hours for makeup. "No, Robbie, you can't shower, we need a mirror!"
10. All the girls change clothes like it's a big free market.
11. The party outside doesn't end when the girls go back to the dorm, oh no. While I was trying to sleep at five in the morning, there was an extended session in the bathroom on how the guys were behaving and how delicious the burgers were.
12. The girls return home so hungry that it's kind of crazy. Macaroni with mayonnaise? Yes it's good.
13. Whatever I said, it was automatically considered wrong, because I have a member, so I just resigned myself to fate.
14. Girls touch each other a lot.
15. Girls literally tear to shreds any phrases that guys write to them. If you think that your girlfriend is not capable of this, she is probably laughing at your message right now.
16. Girls sniff armpits to check if they smell or not. "Hmm, not so bad."
17. Every evening the girls told me the time when we move out of the house. On the second day, I realized: to get the real time of release, you need to add 2.5 hours to the named one.
18. By the end of the week, I ran out of deodorant because "men's deodorants smell better."
19. Usually in a group of girls, one of them is considered to be responsible for drawing the arrows. The rest seem to be useless.
20. If you forget about the contraceptive pill for two days in a row, the cycle of menstruation gets confused. I became a reminder for the girls to take pills.
21. BEFORE YOU DO MAKEUP, ALWAYS APPLY PRIMER.
22. Every evening while preparing for a party I heard the phrase "God, I'm so fat, I can't wear this."
23. Guys, they will always change several times. Do yourself a favor and go get some sleep. Do you think she's finally ready because she's already tried on her third outfit? Ha.
24. "Should I wear pants with this?"
25. Girls only start gathering in the last 30 minutes, because they need half of their clothes every minute.
26. The girls have two cosmetic bags. One with cosmetics that they really need all the time, and the other is never used. It is full of funds that they did not even touch, but they always take it with them.
27. I tried to compliment the girls, but they brushed me off as if I was being ironic. "It suits you very well." - "Fuck off, Robbie."
28. Wherever you look, there will be hair locks. Floor? Invisible. Bed? Invisible. Shower? Invisible again.
29. Hair will be everywhere.
30. If you wake up a girl in the morning, blame yourself. "Robbie, for heaven's sake, turn off your fucking alarm."
31. These same girls think that combing all their hair out of the comb and throwing it over my head is fucking ridiculous.
31) Right so these girls thought it was fuckin hilarious to get all the hair out of their hairbrush and put it on my head ????? pic.twitter.com/k3ZehnWoTO
- Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 18, 2017
32. "Robbie, it won't hurt, I promise."
32) "robbie I promise this won't hurt" pic.twitter.com/wwixa4PBpo
- Roberto Carlos (@TheUniverseMan) December 18, 2017
